Thursday, May 7, 2015

Getting Ready To Get Away From Bullies

It's that time of year.  The kid is chomping at the bit to be done with school.  The parents are too for sure.  No alarms, no signing agendas, no dealing with bullying.  We are almost done with our public school experience.  I cannot complain about his teachers, principal, school, or special ed team.  They have all been wonderful.  His whole three years they have worked with him and cared for him tremendously.  He loves his teachers and he loved going to school.  But when one has to deal with kids like he has dealt with it becomes overwhelming.  Teachers have it hard.  They have 20 plus kids to watch and teach and take care of.  Kids who bully are sneaky.  They do things where they can't be seen or heard then they threaten the victim with worse if they tell.  They goad others into treating the victim badly with promises of the same treatment if they don't.  It is so hard to catch this happening.  Then when you have a son like mine.  Who has autism. It is even more difficult.  He thinks everyone is his friend.  He likes everyone and doesn't understand why someone wouldn't like him.  He takes what he gets and doesn't say a word to his teachers.  He comes home and is angry or crying or defiant and smart-mouthed.  This is completely unlike his normal personality.  So when this happens I know something is up.  The beginning of the year was the worst and there was a full blown investigation into the incidents occurring and it was found to be bullying formally and it was dealt with.  As the year went on there have been incidents over and over with the same kids.  I talk to him every time.  I tell the teachers every time.  I make sure he knows kids who do this are not your friend and to stay away from them but always keep them in your prayers because usually kids like this have a lot of sadness and anger inside.  We don't know what their home life is like and sometimes parents just don't teach their children to be caring and respectful.  It is really sad that kids have to deal with this. 

About a month ago Blaze started begging me to homeschool him.  I finally asked him why he didn't want to go to regular school anymore and he said," They say school is bully free but really it's not Mama."  That was enough for me to see he had some emotional scarring from the issues this year.  Also, the differences in Blaze will become more apparent as the kids age and his social skills don't really keep up with the other kids.  He is also the biggest kid.  Always.  Kids will target him to pick on so they can prove they are the toughest.  Blaze does not understand physical aggression.  We don't even play wrestle because he doesn't get it.  He has no concept of physical violence.  He doesn't get spankings because frankly they don't work for him.  Never did so after a few we didn't do it anymore.  He couldn't understand why we hit him when he is told not to hit anyone.  A rule is a rule. 

So starting next year we will be homeschooling him for 3rd grade.  Or I will.  He is so excited about it and honestly so am I.  I had a meeting with the IEP team yesterday and they all said he will do great and that he is an amazing kid and so polite and well behaved.  He is actually being promoted to 3rd grade instead of placed because he is at or above grade level in everything now.  That is thanks to the amazing teachers he has had.  They have done so well with him.  I am thankful that he had wonderful adults to look up to at school. 

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